How to Bottom: Part Science, Part Art

Anal Sex Part Art - Part Science

Anal sex between two men can be an amazing experience. But as we know, there are a lot of things that can “F” up the experience, especially if you’re a beginner or with a new partner. And the reality is that it’s not the bottom’s responsibility to make sure everything goes well – even if it’s a hookup after the bar.  Instead, because our bodies are involved, and you could really do some damage, the responsibility falls on the top and the bottom. 

Not Everyone Likes Anal Sex

Please remember that contrary to gay porn movies and the media, not all gay men like anal sex. Sex isn’t one-size fits all, and that applies to anal. Some people aren’t comfortable with the idea of anal penetration, or have tried it and found that it really isn’t for them. This should be common sense, but it’s worth repeating. Additionally, this shouldn’t be a deal breaker for a partner. To limit oneself to just a single flavor is to shut out a smorgasbord of new experiences.

The Science of Anal Sex 

The Science of Anal Sex

Anal sex, like any sex, is part science and part art. In other words, to have a good sexual experience, you need to know how the body works. We’ve talked to a lot of gay men and you would be very surprised at the percentage of men who don’t know what’s going on back there. They’re relying on outdated information or something they learned from porno movies. We want to set the record straight so you can increase the pleasure and decrease the discomfort.

Some of what you need to know is straight science. That is, you need to know how your body works, how to relax and how to clean your rectum. We’ve watched at a lot of YouTube videos and believe that the following video does the best job at explaining how to prepare for anal sex

Bottoming 101: Tips for Better Anal Sex

The Art of Anal Sex – Five tips to make anal sex amazing

Once you’ve mastered the scientific part of anal sex, you’re ready for mastery tips that will make you a sexual artist.  

Tip No. 1 Use a Vibrating Cock Ring 

Using a vibrating cock ring has numerous advantages. It feels good for the top, helping him to achieve a more full-body orgasm, and it feels really good for the bottom, because you’re vibrating his booty. It’s a win-win. You can enhance this stimulation by pushing the penis in and not moving. This will allow both of you to fully enjoy the intensity of the vibration. It will also increase the size of the penis and delay ejaculation.

Tip No. 2 Use the Right Kind of Lube

All lubes are not created equally. As a preliminary matter, use a good water based lube if you’re using condoms or playing with toys. Otherwise, oil based or water base does not affect sensitivity. Instead pleasure is based on the viscosity of the lube. In other words, some lubricants are very slippery and others are not. The slipperiness can increase or decrease friction and sensation. It’s all a matter of preference so you should try out a few until you find the one that feels the best for you. 

This is why we believe it’s good to have a long term partner, because it gives you time to learn each other’s bodies.  Find a longer-term partner with whom you can experiment, explore and discover what you like.  Hookups, even with protection, are always a risk. We cannot dictate how you live your life, but we strongly advise against joining in the hookup culture. Loving, passionate sex is so much more fulfilling than the one-night stand with a guy who likely is not good at what he does.

Tip No. 3 Use Sex Furniture 

Furniture for Anal SexIt’s hard to maintain the most comfortable position during anal sex. Anal stimulation can make your knees weak and unless you’re in top shape, you may need some support. There are a lot of sex furniture makers that can help you get into and maintain the best position for anal sex. 

Tip No. 4 Take Your Time

In a world where people are in a hurry to do everything, this seems like bad advice. But when your talking about sex, it’s the best advice that we can give. Take your time, have foreplay, talk, watch porn, tease, dance, play a sex game, kiss. Do anything you can think of before you get down to business. The wait will increase the excitement and make it so much better. 

Tip No. 5:  Communicate

Communicate Before Anal Sex

This is really difficult and requires you to read your partner. Some guys love dirty talk, the dirtier the better. Some guys hate it. Some guys find it useless unless done with more intention than “this is sexy because it’s dirty.” In other words, don’t just say it for the sake of saying it. Get into it and and mean it. 

You should always be giving feedback to your partner. “That feels good. Do more of that!” But there’s also the more subtle feedback, which some guys prefer to receive. Moan loudly if he does something you like while blowing you. Arch your hips so he hits the spot you want him to hit. Guide his hands where you want them to go. These are ways to communicate what you want sexually without being blunt.

7 Anal Sex Tips: Opening Up A Gay Bottom

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6 thoughts on “How to Bottom: Part Science, Part Art

  1. Jay says:

    So what about if you have a boyfriend that is quite in Dowd we want to use a condom we have not done anal sex because he’s too big the problem is he gets the condom on I haven’t bottom in a while so it’s hard to come get it then secondly his dick sometimes loses his heart on so then we have to try to get it back up again and do you have any suggestions

    • Dars says:

      A few great tips from a guy who only bottoms for decades now:

      1 – Play to loosen up. Don’t just go straight for the pounding. He can and should use fingers to play with your hole. Let him gently work in one, then two, then three, then four fingers.
      2 – When it comes to the actual act, take it slow. Let him push in a little, pull out, assess lube, and repeat, going a little further each time. Breathe deep and remain relaxed.
      3 – Trouble staying hard can be related to his fear of hurting you. Verbal feedback as he helps you relax can assist with that, that you’re enjoying it, that it doesn’t hurt. Don’t draw attention to his issue, but let him work through it with you

  2. Alfredo says:

    Please watch your phrasing. In the second paragraph, “all gay men don’t like anal sex”(Are you kidding?) should read “NOT all gay men like anal sex”. Of course we KNOW what you mean, but still….Apart from that, well done.

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