Don’t Treat Me Nice, Fuk Me

I had a real deep fantasy for being used and abused by older men. I didn’t want to be told how cute I was or how nice someone would treat me. I wanted aggression, humiliation, fear. All primal feelings that I craved in a partner.
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Growing up in a small rural town in New England was weird as a gay man. The people weren’t homophobic for the most part, but yet there wasn’t much of a “gay scene” to take part in. In my high-school class I could only point out 2 other gay people and both of them were closeted, despite making it obvious. There weren’t any gay bars within a 30 minute drive and there wasn’t a regular dance club nearby either. Realistically the best option for finding dates and hookups was online. Dating apps and things like Grindr were a great lifeline in dry areas like my hometown.
I have it fairly easy looking for partners online. I’m a thin, short, 22 year old bottom with a cute face and long blonde hair. Whenever I logged into Grindr my inbox would flood with thirsty guys looking to score. It was nice having my pick of the bunch, but it also felt kinda sour sometimes. Men would throw themselves at me and beg to be with me when in reality I wanted someone to take charge. It wasn’t something that I was open about, but I had a real deep fantasy for being used and abused by older men. I didn’t want to be told how cute I was or how nice someone would treat me. I wanted aggression, humiliation, fear. All primal feelings that I craved in a partner.
When I was 18 I ended up talking to a man in his 50’s and he introduced me to submission. We...