How To Edge For Gay Men
Learning to edge will help you give and receive more powerful orgasms because it forces you to focus on the way your body responds to sexual stimulation.
There are a lot of men who are not getting the maximum pleasure from their sexual activity because they have never taken the time to understand their bodies. Instead, they do the same things that they have always done.
Whether you’re going solo, on hookup apps or in a committed relationship, edging will introduce you to some new sensations that feel amazing.
Mastering Orgasm Control For Harding Orgasms
What is Edging
Edging refers to a sexual activity when you bring yourself or a partner right up to the point of orgasm but then pull back on the stimulation just before release, and then repeat the process.
Edging can be lots of fun and it’s also a great way to deepen your connection to your own, or someone else’s sexual response.
How Does Edging Work
Edging serves a few different purposes. As a training tool, you can try it by yourself to help build up sexual stamina and endurance, which will ultimately lead to stronger and better orgasms. This is particularly helpful if you’re one of the 20-30% of men who struggle with premature ejaculation.
If you want to learn how to last longer in bed, Dr. Holly Richmond, psychologist and licensed sex therapist suggests practicing edging on your own. Rate your pleasure on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being “going over the edge to orgasm,” says Richmond. “On Day 1, stroke yourself, or have your partner stroke you, until you reach a 4, and bring yourself down. Let your penis be flaccid for 30 seconds, or a minute, and then go again. Use your hands or one of these toys.
You can also use edging as a form of foreplay. If your partner is giving you oral sex or stroking your penis, tell him to stop and start at his discretion. Giving your partner the power to control your orgasm can be incredibly hot, both for them and for you. “It’s a perfect balance between being in control, and relinquishing that control to be in the moment,” Richmond says.
Should You Try Edging
Even if you don’t struggle with premature ejaculation, edging can yield some serious benefits. It helps you become more acquainted with your own body and desires, and it can be a major turn-on for your partner as well.
Push / Pull “Edging” Method for Better Orgasms
Edging in Power Play
When it comes to the consensual exchange of power, sometimes called “power play” or BDSM, edging is kind of a perfect sexual game to play. Some people will incorporate edging into sex play where the partner being stimulated is tied up. When done properly, the edgee ends up begging for release and is rewarded for their patience with an orgasm that is all the more intense for having been built up over time.
The most important part of edging is recognizing when you or your partner is about to climax. If you are giving a hand job or oral sex and you feel the penis pulsating, he is about climax. You can also keep one finger in his anus while you stimulate his penis. If you feel the anus contracting, he is about to climax.
When he’s about to cum, one of you can reach between his legs and firmly wrap your thumb and forefinger around his scrotum in a loop. Tug down gently but firmly to prevent ejaculation.
When you’re edging a partner, you might torture him a bit by not letting him cum (this is known as orgasm denial). Edging and other orgasm play works great as a type of orgasm control for precisely this reason. You could even not let him cum until he’s achieved some goal.
Introduce your partner to the edging scale of 1 to 10 and check with him periodically to ensure he’s not going to orgasm. 1 means that he’s NOT likely to cum. 9 or 10 means he’s about to orgasm. If you can’t tell from his body and reactions how close he is to climaxing, then just ask him where he is on the scale.
If you’re controlling his orgasms, he might beg or plead to cum or for a certain type of sensation, but you don’t have to give it to him! This might be a great way to introduce domination to the bedroom.
For most people edging is most effective using while giving a hand job. If you’ve got good motor control and dexterity in your hands it allows you to control the pressure and location of stimulation and adjust the speed of stimulation easily.
Use a P-Spot massager while you suck his penis or give him a hand job. This requires extreme coordination and attention to detail because the stimulation may be so intense that he can’t express how good it feels.
Some people argue that edging can help to make a man’s penis bigger, reduce erectile dysfunction or even add years to his life because ejaculation saps a man’s body of his “life force.” This might not be scientific, but edging can definitely help him last longer in bed if premature ejaculation is an issue. He can learn more tips to last longer in bed in this guide.
Masturbation Tip: EDGING!
Focus on Your Partner
If you’re edging with a partner, it’s all about them. The sexual thrill of being the edger is the control you have, and often the lustful pleading you get to be on the receiving end of. But to do this well, you need to tune 100% into your partner, the edgee. This means paying close attention to verbal and non-verbal communication and being open to feedback all the time. It also means being confident enough to take direction without taking offense.
Pay Attention To His Response
Listen to the sounds of your partner breathing, notice how shallow breaths sound different than deep breaths. Listen for the difference between a moan that signals impending orgasm and a moan of erotic frustration. Look at his naked body. The skin can change color at different stages of arousal and you may notice goosebumps or other surface changes. You can also look for changes in muscle tension and relaxation. Pay attention to what he’s doing with other body parts, fingers, toes, hands, shoulders. You can also feel differences in temperature and body movement.
Change the Stimulation
Practice different ways of stimulation, varying the kind of touch from light as a feather to firm and controlling. You can also change the direction of stimulation from up-and-down to circles to a pump/squeeze motion. As you become a more masterful edger you can try to change the stimulation more gradually so the edgee doesn’t even notice a sudden stop, but instead slowly ramps up and down without reaching climax until you’re ready for them to.
Make the Edgee Work for It
It’s your responsibility to be in tune with your partner’s level of arousal, but you don’t have to do all the work, he can talk to you, telling you when he’s about to reach orgasm.
Edging for Stronger Orgasms
Edging isn’t just a fun way to bring some teasing into your sex play. Most people report that orgasms from edging are more intense and stronger. If you already orgasm regularly and are looking for a way to expand orgasmic potential, playing with edging can show you what your body is capable of experiencing. It can also be powerful for the partner providing the stimulation as, when it’s done well, it shows how much power to please we all have.
No studies have been done on edging… yet. But you can understand edging a bit more if you understand the sexual arousal cycle, also known as the sexual response cycle.
The traditional arousal cycle starts with arousal (physical), moves to a plateau, reaches a high or orgasm, and then resolves. The typical graphic goes up, perhaps with a few bumps, and then falls steadily back down.
When you edge, you’re switching up the cycle. The graph would climb toward a plateau but move back down to arousal without hitting orgasm or resolution. This continues every time you avoid an orgasm, so your ultimate graph might have several humps.
Other types of arousal cycles have been suggested. One such model is non-linear, where arousal, desire, sexual stimuli, satisfaction, and intimacy all feed into one another. An increase in one can lead to an increase in another. Or a lack of one can lead to a lack of another.
Nonlinear response models may better represent edging because there’s room for arousal to rise and fall several times before orgasm. The standard model piques with orgasm, followed by resolution, which requires a refractory period before the cycle can start again. It also better represents multiple orgasms.
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