Gay Festival Sideshow Pt 1

Gay fantasy/comedy that will have you both hard and laughing.


Finally, after several years of somewhat acrimonious disagreements, my wife; now my ex-wife and I had reached a settlement and the divorce had been completed – I was now a free man again, at last. Not every marriage is perfect and ours was no exception, although I don’t think that either of us was really to blame; we were just not suited to living together. In the end, all I was pleased about was that we’d kept clear of having children and that the financial settlement was readily agreed without either of us making serious demands.

And so, after all the snarling and sniping I was able to head down to my favorite pub for a peaceful evening with the locals – a pleasure that had often been denied me.

There was a bunch of guys whom I already knew around the bar and after the usual warm pleasantries we settled down to drink and chatter and the subject of ‘getting away from it all’ came up.

My friend Bert who lives only a few doors away spoke up and caught my attention.

“There’s a great place I know of,” he said, “Brilliant place actually; it’s kind of a huge encampment – like a whole village really. It looks like a village, you know, houses, a shop, the post office, the village green and the pub of course – but its not, because behind the façade are all the accommodation units and the recreation center itself.”

“Sounds interesting,” someone said, “But what makes it so special then?”

“No children,” said Bert, “Adults only, and for good reason!”

A ripple of chuckles spread around as we all wondered what he might reveal.

“The thing is…that it’s not only for adults only, it’s for singles only,” Bert continued, causing us all to go “ahhhhh.”

“Well, what I mean is that when you’re there, you’re single – or you’re considered to be, so you can all do what you like with who you like…so long as they’re willing of course!” he concluded, “You actually sign away your marriage rights before you go there.”

“Wow! That sounds like a really hot place,” one of the guys said; a guy who I knew had something like Genghis Khan for a wife, “Wouldn’t mind a week or two in a place like that.”

“Damn well is hot! And speaking of hot,” said Bert, wiping a moustache of beer foam from his lip, “The best time to go is when the weather’s hot; go in July because that’s when they have what they call their ‘Village Fete.'”

“A fete’s usually just for one day,” I said, but Bert shook his head.

“Well they hold it for a whole month,” he said, “Gives everyone a chance to have a damn good time.”

He laughed before immersing himself in his beer again while I got thinking.

After the divorce and now that I was free, not only had I been planning a break but such a place would do me nicely by all impressions and as it was now the end of March, perhaps it would be a good time to make a booking.

“Hey Bert, let me have some details if you could; wouldn’t mind a break there if it’s as good as you say.”

Bert smiled at me and winked wickedly.

“Sure thing Chris. Get me another pint and I’ll write it all down for you.”

I patted him sociably on the back before I took his empty glass to the bar, not realizing at all what I was letting myself in for!

Soon Bert had a bit of paper filled with the address, some names and the phone number which he handed to me almost reverently, seemingly reluctant to let go of the scrap of paper.

“Look after that. It’ll be the best break you’ll ever have!”

“Eh? How do you know?”

“Look,” he said, taking me aside from the others in the bar, “You’re young, you’re good looking, you’re single now; you’ll love it. Drop your inhibitions once you get there – just let things happen!”

“Why, what is it? What d’you mean, drop everything – is it some kind of nudist camp?” I asked warily but Bert shook his head.

“No, no way, although I have seen plenty of naked bodies there!”

“Really?” I said, now definitely interested, “Where do you find them?”

“Wherever!” said Bert mysteriously, “You’ll have to find them for yourself!”

“Oh Bert, that’s not fair!” I said in mock horror, “Tell me…!”

“I’ll ask you something else instead,” said Bert as he drained half of his latest pint, “What’s your sexual orientation – come on, be brave – tell me!”

Bert had a big enigmatic smile on his face; how the hell had he been able to tell that I wasn’t entirely ‘butch’?

“Errrmmmmm. Well you know I was married; I’m not gay,” I said clearly indicating that I was a ‘normal’ man and Bert nodded, tapping his nose and smiling broadly.

“Ahhhh – but was that a cover story by any chance? Have you never thought of playing for the other side! Which way do you really lean then?”

“Uhhh – ummm – errrr, yeah well…” I blundered around, “Yeahhh, errrr, guess I’m errrr, open to ideas, sexually.”

“Good. Well, make sure you’re open to anything when you go there! Do as the Romans do, let it all hang out!”

I’d had the usual teenage buddy exploratory fun and I’d also screwed my share of females but I’d never deeply considered the matter of my orientation. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was actually somewhat pissed off with female company, especially right now. Could I really ‘lean the other way’?

Bert had obviously decided to help me find out as he put down his empty glass.

“I’m off for a pee, come on; I want to have a talk with you, in private.”

Feeling that my bladder wouldn’t object to being emptied I agreed with him and the pair of us headed out of the bar to the toilets where we stood side by side at the urinal trough and let it flow.

Inevitably I glanced aside at Bert to ‘check out’ his equipment and was almost astonished to see that he was the owner of a remarkably lengthy thick penis that was more than a little filled out. I felt movement begin at the root of my own cock as I finished peeing…

And Bert had also glanced at my equipment and suddenly our eyes met.

“Looks like a good ‘un,” he said quietly as we shook the last of the drips from our cocks, “Do you want to play around for a bit?”

As he spoke his hand curled around his shaft and he moved it slowly up and down, his penis rising steadily as he stroked it.

Inside I kind of wanted to say “No” but I realized that he was priming me for my proposed visit to ‘his’ resort so I nodded and Bert immediately pulled me into the lone cubicle, locking the door behind us.

We turned together and our two cocks faced each other, both Bert’s thick member and my slightly more modest penis already stiffening considerably.

“Let’s find out if you’re ready for your break,” he said quietly, “Get hold of me; start wanking me!”

With my eyes on stalks and my mouth hanging open I found myself allowing my hand to stretch out and hold him, my fingers wrapping themselves around his warm hard cock even as my brain disagreed with my actions. But holding his penis actually felt not just different but completely erotic; it was something entirely new to my adult life and the stiff, hot flesh in my fist was sending quivers of excitement up and down my spine.

“Why do I need to do this?” I asked as I started to move my fist up and down his thick length, “What’s this to do with that place?”

“Let’s put it this way – if you can’t enjoy another man’s cock then you could well have a very quiet break. There are days when you’ll need to be a man, so show me you can play for both sides!”

His penis thrust itself at me as I worked on him, unconsciously beginning to enjoy myself, even to the extent of licking my lips, I realised.

And Bert now had hold of my cock as well and to my surprise I’d also become erect and Bert chuckled quietly.

“See,” he said, his hand now working quickly on me, “Not so nasty, is it?”

“Ooooh no, I like it!” I said as he caused a shudder of lust to course through me, “Feels good already!”

The hot scent of our arousal was rising around us as we rubbed our two cocks, sending shivers of lust into my groin.

“That’s the idea – let yourself go! Now, how about you cum for me!”

No problems about that, I realized, feeling involuntary quivers and shakes in my groin and knowing full well that they presaged an orgasm.

“You sure?” I asked, a bit concerned but Bert merely nodded and worked even harder.

“Not all over me though! Not right now anyway, ‘cos I think I’m gonna cum soon!”

We were both breathing faster now, our fists flying up and down our two strong cocks as we brought each other off.

Bert was indeed the first to go over the top as he moaned suddenly, his body turning in my grasp.

“Oooooh fuck! Here it cums. Point it at the wall, for heaven’s sake!”

Just in time I did so; a long streamer of white cum squirting from his cock, just missing me and splattering down the wall of the cubicle, filling the air with the scent of hot salty spunk.

“Ooooh fuck, that feel’s good,” he said as another squirt splattered over the first, “Yessssss! Ooooh bloody yessssss!”

He’d hardly finished when I felt those unstoppable feelings rising rapidly; the tension increasing; muscles seizing up; breathing stopping and then it all let go. With a quick intake; a tightly held pause and then a huge outrush of air and a suppressed groan of pleasure, everything unwound and spunk blasted from my little hole.

I felt a good spoonful of cum rising from my shaft, spraying the wall too as Bert’s jerking fist brought me to a shivering climax.

“That’s good – that’s good! Let it all go!” he said as he wanked me hard.

A second eruption and a third and a fourth followed quickly before I slumped backwards against the wall, a spent force with an oozing cock and a heaving chest.

Silently we cleaned up with some toilet tissues before we looked at each other.

“Phew – you enjoyed that, didn’t you?” said Bert as he tucked his own penis away, “See – that’s a taster for your break – if you can do that here, you’ll be fine once you get there!”

I shook myself free of the small blob of cum that clung to my cock and then, with a last wipe I tucked myself in, while shaking my head.

“Didn’t expect that! Nice though!”

“Hmmmm, thought you’d enjoy it. We’ll have to do it again once you’ve had a break.”

I looked hard at Bert as we headed back to the bar – I’d never ever realized that Bert was that way inclined!

The center’s telephone receptionist was great; she sounded gorgeous with a nice rich warm friendly voice and she was well informed, with answers to all my questions, although with deference to her gender, I refrained from asking obviously sexually loaded questions.

Some twenty minutes later and I’d made a provisional booking for a ten day stay in the middle of July. The confirmation paperwork would be in the post immediately, she said, along with a brochure and a couple of days later a large envelope arrived which contained a thick glossy magazine and my reservation details; a single cabin to myself, full board included – it looked fine. Quickly I filled in the confirmation slip and put it ready to post the following day.

With a quick perusal of the brochure I laid it aside and got back to work, although my work was no nine to five job. I’m my own boss – a professional writer, specializing in technical reviews and write-ups. Sometimes the work’s a bit dull but at least it pays the bills; I’m able to keep well up to date with modern innovations and I can work in my own time – be it morning, afternoon or nighttime – and take a break as and when I need one.

For a few weeks now I worked really hard so as to get myself ahead of my schedule and by July I felt quite justified in taking a couple of weeks off.

But until then, time dragged by so slowly – July seemed years ahead…but eventually there were merely days to go and suddenly I was tearing around trying to ensure that I had everything I needed for the perfect relaxing break.

And finally I was off, motoring happily down the motorway out of town with an easy three hour drive ahead of me, with thoughts of lazy days in the sun rolling through my head.

Finally, having left the motorway a number of miles behind I was just about there and as I crested a hill, I was simply forced to pull off the road to take in the scene.

There, perhaps a mile or so ahead of me in a pleasantly wooded valley that sloped down towards the shimmering sea was a cute typically rural village, many of the properties having thatched roofs as picturesque as a postcard. In among the verdant trees around the village could be seen the occasional glimmer of sunlight from the windows of the cabins and other accommodations while across the valley, nestled in another fold of the hills was what had to be the main ‘centre’; a low-slung building that blended comfortably into the landscape. It looked serene and peaceful and just so inviting that I could hardly contain my eagerness to get there.

Ten minutes or so later via some leafy, windy country lanes I drove into the main reception car park and a few minutes later my booking was sorted and I had my keys and a small map to find my way to my cabin. Another five minutes and I was parked beside my own ‘home-from-home’ – an ultra-modern little unit complete with just about every mod con known to man – and more importantly, complete with a very comfortable looking double bed! What more could a single man want for a nice break!

Signposted footpaths led through the trees down to the beach, off to the village and around to the main building wherein, the brochure told me, there were indoor activities including a massive pool; some inviting dining areas and loads of other entertainments – which I’d probably explore in due course, but today, all I wanted was a quick meal and a few drinks – which is what I soon acquired.

Replete eventually I ambled back to my cabin and shut myself away to completely separate myself from the realities of life; to unwind and to chill out.

I browsed the brochure again and now spotted the main attraction – the Village Fete, details of which were remarkably ambiguous, however.

‘Better give that a look over,’ I thought, ‘I wonder what’s so exciting about a village fete though?’

My activity vaguely planned, I clambered into bed and fell asleep in minutes, already totally relaxed…and thinking nothing of the sexual activity promised by Bert.

The early morning sun woke me but I’d slept well; better than for years I reckoned and I woke refreshed and with an almighty great hard-on, my generous seven inches of manhood refusing to go down until I’d taken him in hand and given him some good relief. I may only have been 30 but of late my penis had become reluctant to rise; pressure of work and my divorce taking their toll of my libido – but suddenly I felt alive again!

The rapidly warming sun demanded that my attire should be shorts and a t-shirt; a mode of dress I was very comfy with and looked good in, I thought. I liked wearing shorts as they showed off my strong muscular legs and ideally I’d prefer to keep my t-shirt off to show off my molded chest and my trim waist but perhaps that was for the beach rather than the village fete.

Gathering my breakfast cereals from my mini kitchen I sat and ate in the sunshine, listening to the quiet birdcalls in the trees and the soft wind whispering above them – it was idyllic to me.

Then, feeling healthy, well fed and well relaxed, I sauntered off towards the village and before long I could hear some music playing and the smells of a rural festivity began to waft in my direction – the scent of hot mechanical engines and oiled machinery; of a meaty smoky barbeque; of flowers and fruit; of a farm; of people…and somehow, an overriding scent of sex! I found myself shaking my head as I wondered how that scent became mixed into the mélange and decided that I’d got it wrong…but I hadn’t!

“Roll up! Roll up!” a brightly bedecked showman was yelling, “Come and test your strength! Show us how mighty your weapon is!”

Unable to resist his call I headed towards his booth – to find a miniature-sized ‘test-your-strength’ machine and a small crowd of watchers. I pushed to the front of the crowd, in time to see an extremely solid gentleman in the process of dropping his trousers! It was obvious too, as soon as his trousers were undone, that he was energetically polishing a very large and erect penis!

I shook my head in wonderment; no way had I expected to find this despite Bert’s warning that this was an adults-only place…but I carried on watching, transfixed by the sight.

The man, whose erection had now visibly reddened, shuffled nearer to the machine and I moved around so I could more clearly see what was happening, because this certainly wasn’t like a normal test-your-strength machine…

And now, as he settled into position, the showman moved behind the gentleman and reached between his legs.

There was a loud “ahhhgggghhh!” from the man as the showman pulled his penis downwards until it was almost pointing backwards!

“Ready!” he called and the man grunted his confirmation.

“Three, two, one – go!” yelled the showman and as he reached “go” the man jerked his hips at the same moment as the showman let go of his penis. His released rigid pole sprang upwards and with a loud thump it slammed into the underside of a metallic plate as it regained its usual pose, while registering a number on a digital read out.

“One hundred and eighty!” the showman yelled out, “What a nice one! What power! The best score today! 195 cockles to you – well done indeed sir!”

The man who’d just demonstrated the power of his penile recoil spoke briefly with the showman then pulled his trousers back up and joined the crowd, right beside me.

“Didn’t that hurt?” I found myself asking but the man was smiling.

“Nah – it felt lovely; I like a bit of pain,” he simpered, “He’d got such a firm grip that I’ve had to let him handle me every day – well, several times a day actually!”

Another ‘contestant’ had now moved forward and was dropping his trousers and at a glance I realised that his penis was equally as erect but nowhere near as large as the previous one – but that wasn’t about to put him off.

Instead he was now working on his cock, his hand moving fast as he brought himself to full erection.

“Ok – I’m ready!” he said and with that the showman nudged him into place and reached between his legs as before.

“Oooooh yessss,” said the contestant as the showman practically pointed the man’s cock backwards, “Pull it, pull it hard!”

“Three, two one – go!” yelled the showman as he let go.

There was a somewhat metallic “do-ing” as the strained erection slammed up against the metal plate – and it seemed to bounce against the plate; not once but twice, three times, four times…until…!

“Ahhhhh!” cried the contestant, “Oooooooooh yessss!”

He turned as quickly as his trouser-encumbered feet would let him and thrust his hips forward; his penis immediately sending a long streamer of white spunk spraying and splattering over the crowd! Another strong jerk of his hips and another spray of cum filled the air, catching those of us in the front few rows with its warm splatters!

“Yeahhhh!” he cried, “Oooooh yeahhhhh!”

There were cries of delight and support from those in the crowd who’d been anointed – this was what they’d come to enjoy, not so much the test of strength!

“Wowwww!” cried the crowd, as a final blast from his penis splattered them, “Hurraaaaaay!”

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