It wasn’t easy parading dates in and out of this apartment right in front of you AND watching you do the same. I’ve spent time with many guys over the past year, but none of them hold a candle to what you and I share.
As it turned out, Dad’s visit over the weekend was nothing more than that…a visit. The morning after we spent most of the night in bed, making love, we had a serious talk. Nothing had changed between the two of us. In fact, if anything, Dad had grown more certain that the best thing for both he and my mom was for their marriage to end. BUT, as with anything in life, taking that first step toward a life-altering change wasn’t proving to be easy for him. He and my mom hadn’t yet had that serious conversation about their marriage. Couple that with the fact that Mom was yearning to have her family back together again, however briefly. Given that I had moved back to the city while she was in Seattle on business, she had missed out on some family time before I left home again to make my way in the world.
“Dad, you know you can’t keep putting this off.”
“I know, Harry. It’s just more difficult than I thought it would be.”
“Believe me, Dad. I understand. But let me ask you this. Do you still want us to explore the possibility of a future together?”
“You know I do, Son.” After he said that, he pulled me to him and gave me one of the sexiest, most passionate kisses he’d ever given me.
After breaking the kiss – and catching my breath – I looked him square in the eye. “Then you know you have to talk to her and start the process of ending your marriage. You can’t have us both. It’s not fair to either of us.”
“You’re right, Son. And I will. But there’s one thing I need you to do first.”
I rubbed my hand across his chest, feeling the hair spread across it. “You know I’d do anything for you, Dad. Just ask.”
“Come back home next weekend for a visit.”“
“What? I thought we both agreed that I shouldn’t be there when you two talk about things.”
“We did. And I still don’t think you should be there. But your mom’s missing you…missing our family. I want her to have one last weekend of family time. Then, after you come back here, I’ll talk to her.”
“Dad, you know how much I love Mom.”
“Then, you’ll do it?”
“Of course. If it means that it gets me one step closer to having you in this bed on a regular basis.” We began kissing again, which led to a full on lovemaking session. In fact, much of that weekend was one ongoing lovemaking session. Pretty soon, it was Sunday afternoon and Dad left to go back home.
I missed him, but was able to turn my attention to work to pass the time. Even though I had turned Peter’s advances down after he had finished interviewing me for my job, I would still catch him eyeing me from time to time when I’d pass him in the hallway. In fact, maybe ‘ogling’ would be a better word to use than ‘eyeing.’ Though I was mostly over the moon about the prospect of Dad being in my life as my lover in the very near future, one thing was tugging at the back of my mind. Intellectually, I knew it was nothing more than the gay version of an old wives’ tale, but I needed to get the point of view of another gay man on the subject. Peter was already aware that I’m gay, so I decided I would talk with him. After business hours, I walked down to his office, stuck my head in and knocked on the door to let him know I was standing there.
Peter glanced up from his computer screen. “Harry! Hey! I’ve been meaning to stop you in the hallway and ask. How’s the job going so far?”
“Everything’s been great so far, Peter. Thanks for asking. I’m settling in to the job nicely. Thanks again for giving me this opportunity.” I couldn’t tell for certain, but from the view I had of his crotch, I started to wonder if I had interrupted him watching porn.
“Hey, you deserve it! And from what I hear, Tina and everyone else in the R&D section are really impressed with your work. What can I do for you?”
“I don’t usually like to talk about too much of my personal life here at work. But because you know about my sexual preference, I was wondering if I might ask your opinion about something.”
“Sure thing, Harry. Why don’t you close the door?” I turned and closed the door. When I turned around, I got confirmation that my suspicions were correct. Peter was standing up and his crotch was tented out obscenely. He obviously saw me staring. “You like what you see, Son?”
“Oh yeah!” I really DID like the way his slacks were bulging out. But I needed to make sure he knew that I hadn’t used asking him a question as a pretext to come into his office and have sex with him. “It’s too bad that I have plans this evening.”
I could see the look of disappointment in Peter’s eyes. I hated lying to him, but until things were decided between Dad and I, I didn’t feel right having sex with anyone else. “Oh. So you really DO want to get my opinion on something…”
“Yes. I’m sorry for confusing you, Peter.”
“No, no. It’s quite all right. You made your intentions toward me clear the day of the interview. But I’ll repeat what I told you that day. If you change your mind, all you have to do is say the word.”
His persistence put a smile on my face. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Peter motioned for me to sit at the round conference table in the corner of his office and he joined me there. “Peter, as I mentioned the day of my interview, I’m in a relationship with someone.”
“Yes, I remember. I hope the bastard knows just how lucky he is…if I can be so bold as to say that to you.”
“Our relationship is his first with another guy,” I continued, not acknowledging Peter’s flattery. “And I have a concern…”
“I see. And this is what you need my opinion on?”
“Yes. That is, if it’s not too much of an imposition to ask you.”
“Not at all! I’m glad to give any input, if I can. What concerns you about the relationship?”
“I’m sure you’ve heard the rule when it comes to gay relationships: ‘The one who brings you out isn’t the one you spend the rest of your life with’.””
Peter grinned at me. “Ah yes. I know it well. Tt’s a distant cousin of the rule that says you never end up marrying your high school sweetheart.”
“Peter, I know this is nothing more than a saying. There are exceptions to every rule. I like this guy very much. But I don’t want to jump into this relationship with both feet if he’s only going to end up leaving me for greener pastures in a few months.” It was the first time I’d vocalized this concern. I know Dad loves me as a lover. But I’ve seen more than one friend start a relationship with a newly-out-of-the-closet guy, only to have things end a few months later because the guy wanted to see what else was out there for him. In other words, the cork didn’t just pop out of the bottle, it EXPLODED out of the bottle…and landed on practically every guy in sight! I didn’t want that to happen to Dad and I.
“Harry, you may not like what I’m about to say to you. But just because it’s an old wives’ tale, doesn’t mean it’s entirely untrue. If this guy is new to hot, sweaty, man-on-man sex, he may have some catching up to do to get everything out of his system.”
“You aren’t saying anything that hadn’t already crossed my mind.”
“This doesn’t mean you have to break up with him. I have a suggestion. It’s something that a friend of mine who was in a similar situation tried several years ago.”
“Did it work, Peter?”
He smiled at me. “I’ll say this. The two of them are still together, all these 14 years later.”
“What did your friend and his partner do?”
“They decided to date for a year before becoming serious with each other. They were both allowed to see other people while they were dating. Then, at the end of a year, they sat down together and decided whether or not they wanted to get serious or if they wanted to stop seeing each other altogether. My friend’s partner told him that having that year to see what it would be like to date other men helped him ultimately make up his mind that he wanted to be in a committed relationship.”
“That actually sounds like a good idea. I think I might try suggesting that to my special guy.”“
“I hope it works out for you. Because, if it doesn’t, you know I’m always here.”
I smiled at him and made my way to his office door. “Thanks, Peter!” I walked out into the hallway without acknowledging his pass at me.
That weekend, I went back home to have one final `Family Weekend’ with my mom and dad before the beginning of the end of their marriage commenced. It was nice to see Mom again, but the whole weekend was awkward. All I wanted was to be in Dad’s arms. The worst part was at night, knowing that they’d be sharing a bed, not he and I. Though we had a few fleeting stolen moments together to exchange quick kisses and cop a few good feels, the weekend was mostly spent with the three of us sharing time as a family.
That Sunday night, I returned to my condo in the city not knowing when Dad was planning on talking to Mom. However, I got the answer when Dad showed up on my doorstep on Wednesday evening. It turns out that he sat Mom down to talk with her about the state of their marriage the same night I left to return to the city. Thankfully, their talk was amicable. Mom’s no fool. She knew as well as Dad did that the two of them had been growing apart for many years. She was just as ready to move on with her life as he was. Obviously, she wasn’t told about Dad’s relationship with me or that wouldn’t have been the case. Dad said he immediately moved into my old room and began to get his affairs in order. They had agreed that he should stay on for a couple weeks so that they could work out the terms of their separation and divorce. However, Dad told me that he ended up deciding that he couldn’t stay there anymore. He told my mom that he was going to come stay with me for a little while and they could work out the details of their divorce by phone and mail.
That same night, I sat Dad down on the couch and laid out Peter’s idea about a one-year trial dating period. We’d continue to have sex, but we’d live more like roommates than lovers. We’d sleep in separate bed and each date other guys. At first Dad seemed skeptical about the idea, but the more I talked to him about it and impressed upon him that I thought it would be a big key to us having a lasting relationship, he agreed to give it a try. Of course, that night, we made love. But starting the next day, he moved his stuff into my guest bedroom and we began devising a way to begin living the single life.
As the months rolled by, Dad and I continued to live like roommates. Or at least, roommates who had sex with each other several times a month. We each saw other guys. Of course, as is the case with any set of roommates, we developed a schedule to minimize the number of times we’d run into each other with a date. It was hard to see Dad with other guys. And he told me often that he felt the same way about seeing me with other men. But we both knew what we were doing was the right thing if we were truly going to be together in the end.
I dated guys from work, even rendezvousing with Peter a couple times. Work friends also set me up on a several dates. More than once, Mike, my married locker room friend from Dad’s gym back home was in the city on business and we would get together for dinner and sex. It never failed. Every single guy I went on a date with couldn’t believe I lived with my father. The phrase ‘doesn’t he cramp your style when it comes to sex?’ was uttered more times than I can count. If only they knew that cramping my sex life was the LAST thing my father did.
Rick even came to visit once. I have to say, THAT was an awkward visit in more ways than one. Dad knew all about Rick and I, and how Rick felt about me. I could definitely feel the tension in the air as the two of them shook hands when Rick stopped by our apartment to pick me up for dinner. Dinner was awkward because I could tell that Rick was still holding on to feelings for me, even though I explained to him my one-year arrangement with Dad. We did go back to his hotel room that night after dinner and tried to have sex, but the magic just wasn’t there. I was worried about leading him on and he knew no relationship would ever come from us being together that night. The next day, he went back home and we decided that, although we still wanted to try to remain friends, it was best that we not talk to or see each other for a while.
Dad dated guys he met at his fitness club and from a “gay retiree” social organization he joined shortly after moving in with me. Jim also visited a few times, giving him and Dad a chance to reconnect. I knew how special Jim was to Dad and was no longer jealous of their bond. In fact, with Dad’s permission, I even spent a night with Jim, fulfilling an unspoken fantasy both of us had for many years. Though I suspected Dad had engaged in his share of threesomes, he and I never got together with Jim at the same time. I’m more of a ‘one-on-one’ kinda guy. I could tell that Dad was enjoying his new life as a single gay man. Though part of me was nervous that he’d enjoy the single life too much and decide, at the end of our one-year arrangement, he’d rather continue on as a single man, I was mostly happy for him. Truth be told, I was enjoying the opportunity to engage in an openly gay life that had eluded me since I left home for college 14 years ago. Besides, when Dad and I would have our alone time, I saw in his eyes how much he loved me. The love between us as he fucked me or we cuddled in bed on the nights we weren’t otherwise occupied told me that a future with him was still practically a given.
One of the more awkward dates I went on took place near to the end of the year-long experiment that Dad and I had undertaken. Mike was in town for another business trip. We went to dinner like usual, but something seemed ‘off’ with him. I noticed early on that he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring any longer. I decided not to say anything right then. Mike was pretty open with me. I was certain he’d bring it up before we parted ways the next morning. Mike had told me months earlier that he and his wife weren’t even sleeping in the same bedroom anymore and that he had begun seeing men and exploring his attraction to other guys in earnest without her knowledge. I wondered if she had discovered one of his secret relationships and was threatening him with an acrimonious divorce. Surprisingly enough, the subject never came up for the rest of the evening. Dad was out on his own date, so Mike and I headed back to my apartment for the rest of the evening. I intended to ask him about his mood, but something else ‘came up’ before I had a chance to broach the subject. After a particularly passionate round of sucking, fucking, and making out, we lay side-by-side in my bed, regaining our breath. Other than my father, no man could make me feel the way Mike made me feel when we were in bed together. As we lay in bed, me stroking his hairy chest as we drifted off to sleep, I felt content and hoped Mike and I would always stay in touch.
The next morning is when the awkwardness really set in. After partaking in some early morning sex, Mike and I were sitting at the dining room table having a quick breakfast before he had to catch his flight back home, when he finally brought up why he had been so distracted the night before at dinner.
“Harry, I’ve left my wife!” he blurted out all of the sudden.
“Last night at dinner, I saw you weren’t wearing your wedding ring anymore,” I admitted. “What happened?”
“I told you that we’ve been drifting apart for a long time. Two weeks ago, she sat me down and told me that she’s met someone she wants to be involved with. I have to admit, Harry, I was relieved! You know how trapped I’ve been feeling ever since you and I met in the locker room at the gym that day.”
“So, that’s it? You agreed to part ways? Is there any bad blood between the two of you?”
“No. We’ve agreed to an amicable divorce for the sake of us and our girls. I told her that I’ve met someone who I want to be involved with too.”
I got an incredulous look on my face. “So you lied to her! I guess telling her about the parade of guys you’ve been fucking for almost a year wouldn’t exactly get you that amicable divorce, would it?”
“It wasn’t a lie. I HAVE met someone I want to become involved with. It’s someone more special to me than the random guys I mess around with.”
Inside, I was feeling a little jealous because of the special way Mike made me feel. But I was also truly excited for him. I felt like I had been with him along the way for the better part of his sexual discovery. It gave me a sense of satisfaction to see that he had met a man he wanted to settle down with. “Who is this lucky guy?” Mike looked at me and seemed to be searching for the right words to say. His cheeks also started to turn a shade of deep red. It was an odd thing to see. He always came off as the typical masculine, alpha male…so sure of himself and everything else in his life. To see him at a loss for words was rare indeed. “Come on, man! Don’t hold out on me. I’m not going to try and seduce him away from you!” I needled him.
“I wanted to say something last night at dinner. But, it didn’t seem like the appropriate conversation to have in the middle of the restaurant. Then, I wanted to talk about it when we got back here last night. But we ended up getting down to doing what we do best with each other. Now, I can’t get on that plane this morning without telling you.”
“What? Who’s this guy that’s got you so uncharacteristically nervous and shy?” First he averted his eyes, but then quickly returned his gaze to mine.
“I’m sorry?” I had heard him as clear as day, but I somehow wasn’t able to process what he had just told me. Though, other than my father, Mike was my dream man, I had long ago resigned myself to the fact that we would never be more than friends with benefits because he was married. I was certain he’d never divorce his wife. And now, I was truly certain that Dad was the man I wanted to be with, no ifs, ands or buts about it. Mike and I couldn’t possibly have a future together!
“You heard what I said. Listen, I know this is bad timing.”
I mumbled under my breath, “You got THAT right!”
Mike continued, not hearing my last remark. “You already have a guy you’re seriously interested in. Plus, you’re living with your Dad and helping him get used to being single again.” He looked around the apartment as if he was scared Dad was going to appear out of nowhere. “Thank God he isn’t here to overhear me putting the moves on his son. He probably wouldn’t appreciate me trying to come between you and your man.”
I grinned at him. “No, he wouldn’t at that.” If Mike only knew Dad WAS my man. “Mike,” I continued. “You know how I feel about you. And if we’d had this conversation about a year ago, things might be very different for you and I. But I’m too invested in the man I’m seeing. I love him too much to leave him at this point.” I saw a dejected look cross Mike’s face. “Are you and I going to be okay?”
Mike smiled at me, but I could tell he was covering up his feelings. “Oh yeah. Definitely! I knew it was a long shot, telling you how I feel. I care about you a lot, Harry. I want you to be happy. If this guy is going to do that for you, then I’m all for it!”
“Good! And I want you to know that the guy you DO end up settling down with is going to be one lucky son of a bitch. You’re everything a guy looks for in a man. Still friends?” I extended my hand to him, but instead of taking it, he got up from the table, pulled me up to a standing position, and then hugged me.
“Still friends!” After a quick friendly kiss, we parted. “I should go or I’m going to miss my flight.”
“You sure you don’t need a ride to the airport?”
“Nah! I’ll just take the subway.” My apartment building was nearest to the line that ran straight to the airport, so it wouldn’t be any problem for Mike to get there easily. “Tell your dad I said bye.”