His Wife Finds His Gay Porn

It started in his own mind, waiting for him to notice it; a dissatisfaction he’d been afraid to recognize or admit to himself.
*****
Ryan sighed as he pulled into the driveway. When did things get so hard? He shifted into park and laid his forehead heavily against the steering wheel. It hadn’t always been like this; he used to be excited to get home to his wife, to open the door and engage in the ritual of a hug and a kiss and a “how was your day?”
Something had changed, lately. He couldn’t put his finger on when it started, but he was pretty sure he knew where. It started in him, in his own mind, something that had always been there, waiting for him to notice it. A dissatisfaction he’d been afraid to ever recognize; a desire he couldn’t admit, even to himself.
Christina was everything he’d hoped for in a wife — well, almost everything. So why couldn’t he be happy? Why did he feel like he was always holding something back? She was kind, and smart, and beautiful; she put up with his hobbies and his bouts of moodiness; if they ever had kids, she would make a great mother. She supported him, and he supported her, and they’d built a home and a life together. That should have been enough.
What was missing was the spark, and he knew it was his fault. His fault for wanting things she couldn’t give, wanting things that he wished he didn’t. He’d never told her what he wanted, but how could he? How do you sit down your beautiful wife, from her traditional family, and tell her that …
He shook his head and undid his seatbelt. He wasn’t ever going to tell her. Maybe she would understand, and be okay with it, but it was more likely that...