I hadn’t brushed my teeth for four long days, a fact that I only know because it was the same amount of days that I had called off work. Here I was, 27, successful, handsome, climbing the corporate ladder, becoming wealthier by the minute, and I was falling apart because my boyfriend dumped me.
He didn’t just dump me, oh no, he gave me the ultimate ‘fuck you’ by letting me catch him in my bed and in my house with some other guy. To add insult to injury, I overheard him talking to him saying how glad he was that I worked so much because it gave him time to fuck his little twink boy. I sort of short-circuited. All I remember of the confrontation is me throwing both him and his twink out along with his belongings so I guess you really could say that I broke it off. However, I felt like a grade-A fool.
During my four-day meltdown, I began remembering more and more of the information that I garnered from my now ex. He had been fucking someone else for over four months. We had only been together less than a year but I felt that we were soul mates. Little did I know how wrong I was. He said that he was no longer satisfied with me because I worked so long and hard and never had any time for him. In my grief-stricken stupor, I failed to mention that maybe he could have gotten a job, but that point is moot now.
The fact is, I’m heart-broken, I’m just beginning to realize that I smell really badly, and I can’t call off work indefinitely.With that in mind, I went back to work.
By the way, my name is Jeff. I’m 6′ tall, 200lbs. of mostly muscle, and I am fairly hairy in a peach fuzz kind of way where my hair sheens my body without growing long enough to start curling. Because of this, I tend to look like I groom my hair. I have a beard and mustache that is full and lustrous despite my only being 27. I look far more ruggish than I am and I love that look on both my partners and myself. My hair is a dark blonde that looks burnished. I’ve got blue eyes that are rimmed in hazel making my stare both piercing and mysterious.
When I decided to go back to work, I had to do a double take in the mirror because I looked ten years older and like I hadn’t shaved in a month. I hated to go back to work but it was necessary.
The day that I got back to work, I felt like everyone could see the change in me. I was even more driven and obsessed with doing my job but now it wasn’t out of ambition; it was a way for me not to think about what a shamble my life was in. I was not really a drinker so I couldn’t drown my sorrows in liquor and I knew that casual sex would only make me hate my situation more. The only solace I had left was that I was damned good at what I did and could throw myself into it. Pretty soon my boss took notice and relayed to me that if I kept it up I would be getting a promotion. I didn’t care about a promotion. I just wanted to not feel so terrible.
A couple of months later I had a vacation coming up and I was ready for it. I knew that pushing myself so hard those last months was only going to make me crash eventually and then I’d be no good to anyone. So I decided to take a nice long road trip to search for answers. Maybe my ex was right; climbing the corporate ladder might have been too much of my focus.
The Friday before my vacation, my boss Mack popped his head into my office, “Hey Jeff, you got a minute?” I told him to come on in, sensing that there was something amiss. He sat down on my couch and started, “Jeff, I know that you’re about to go on vacation but the recent merger we’ve been working on might fall through if we both aren’t there to secure the deal.”
I didn’t really have a problem with it but I still wanted to know why. “I thought that we weren’t settling on a deal until next quarter, why did our clients suddenly move up the deadline? . . . Not that I’m complaining, hell, that means more money for us for rushing and coming in under the deadline”
He replied looking a little green around the gills, “well”, he said, “they want us to fly to New York for a week to oversee the merger at their corporate headquarters, the company that they’re merging with has stock holdings that just shot through the roof and they show no signs of dropping. They’ve been on a steady rise for almost a month and this was just the push they needed to speed up this process.”
I thought nothing of his look once I heard what sounded like good news and informed him that I was just going to take a small road trip and that it really was not a bother for me to go. I was really dedicated to our clients. He looked pleased and said that we might as well leave that Sunday. We had to be there on that Monday, so we could use that Sunday night to get all of the necessary paperwork and to arrange plans. I met him at the airport on Sunday morning and we were on our way.
By then, my mind was in full work mode, I had forgotten all about not climbing the corporate ladder because now I was in my element. I discussed the terms of the deal with Mack and he didn’t have to be impressed with my immaculate attention to the minute details of this deal because that was just my work ethic. We were on the plane for what felt like hours and then we finally touched down.
We had only booked one room with twin beds because we were still a fairly small company and I wasn’t into splurging if it wasn’t necessary. After going over the necessaries once more, we decided to relax for a couple of hours and check out the hotel bar. We were on our second drinks, me a club soda, and Mack a gin & tonic when he saw my face blanch.
I felt like I had been punched in the stomach as I drank in the sight of my long lost ex. Even though I thought I was getting over it, seeing him again made the wound so raw that I almost couldn’t breathe. Mack saw my expression and immediately asked me what was wrong. I had never confided in anyone about my ex and not many people around the office knew anything about my personal life, but at the moment, I desperately felt the need to confide.
I told Mack that the guy across the bar was my ex and that I had caught him in bed with someone else. For a moment he just looked shocked. I don’t know what shocked him more, me being gay or the fact that I had caught my ex in bed with someone else. I waited tentatively, knowing that he might feel uncomfortable with me. He then said something that shocked the hell out of me. He said, “Damn, I hope you threw away the sheets.” I could do nothing but laugh, the tension had drained away. I had never thought he was gay, but now that he knew I was, my curiosity was peaked as to whether or not he was. For the first time in months, I scoped another guy out.
He had liquid brown eyes with smooth tanned skin, his face was clean-shaven but you could tell that he’d have a bush of a beard if he ever let it grow out. I had never seen him work out so I guess that he was nicely built by the way his suits hung on him. He’s about my height with maybe 20lbs. on me. He has brown hair that is streaked from sunlight making him look more like he stepped off a beach rather than out of a boardroom.
Mack must have caught me starring because he asked me if I was thinking about my ex. Wow, I dodged one there, he must have misread my scrutiny of the strong planes of his face as reminiscence. I told him that I was and that he was the reason I had missed work those months ago.
He said, “Yeah I remember, you came back with this look in your eyes that struck me as fierce determination at the time, but now hearing this I think it was more hardness, like you were shielding yourself, I’m sorry, if I had known, maybe I could have helped… you know, talked or something.”
I thought that was kinda sweet but I didn’t say anything. We decided to head to the room when I remembered that I didn’t know if he was gay or not. Not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable, I offered to get another room, but he just he shushed me with a quick kiss on the cheek that sent my mind reeling and just said, “No need”.
The whole rest of the night I was very contemplative. Was the kiss just reassurance that he didn’t mind me being gay? Was he attracted to me? For months after my ex, I hadn’t even needed to jack off because I was too stricken to even want sex but here I was now with a stiff hard-on from one quick chaste kiss. And from my boss, no less!! I tossed and turned while Mack slept peacefully. Oh how I envied him.
The next few days were almost a blur. We went through the necessary paperwork, had all of the lawyers look over the contracts… etc. by Thursday morning we were done and had one more day left in New York to just chill out and celebrate the deal going through. We decided to do a little sight seeing and went to the museum, central park, and 5th ave. It was fun, in a weird way; it was almost like a date.
I was sure by now that I was attracted to Mack but I wasn’t into casual sex and him being my boss didn’t make my predicament any better. On top of that, I was beginning to believe that Mack had a thing for me too. All day he was almost shy in that I swear he would be looking at me but the moment that I would look up to investigate, he would be adamantly studying some object or his shoes. I even thought I saw him blushing, but thought it was just my imagination because there was no way that my formidable boardroom exec. of a boss was shy.
I was not a partier and apparently neither was Mack so we decided to head on back to the hotel. It was only about ten o’clock, but I was a little drained from the jitters that Mack had been giving me all day. I just wanted to take a hot shower, maybe jack off while I was showering, quietly of course, and go to bed, even though we had a late flight that next day.
We got back to the hotel and I rushed straight for the shower. I was so wound up that I definitely needed to masturbate. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. I jumped in the shower, but the door was still cracked a bit. I let the hot spray wash over my body. The tiny needles of water began caressing my already half-erect penis. ‘Have showers always been this erotic?’ I thought. Maybe it had just been too long.
I started to gently yank on my cock and I just let my imagination run wild for the first time in all those months. It didn’t take me long to cum seeing as I hadn’t jacked off in a long time and I was fantasizing about the beautiful man just outside the door. I tried to keep quiet and managed to hold back all but some hard grunts that I couldn’t subdue. I quickly showered and put on my pajamas before leaving the bathroom.
I came out and noticed that he was flipping channels with one leg up and his arm over his head. He seemed completely comfortable except that his face was absolutely flushed. I asked him if there was anything wrong and he wouldn’t look at me but said that he was fine. I flopped down on the bed with the intent to fall asleep when Mack asked me if I had been with anyone since my ex. I explained that I hadn’t and how I felt about casual sex. I then told him the reason for wanting to take the vacation and he replied by saying that he felt like an ass now, making me come with him. I told him not to worry, that I could take the trip once we got back.
He looked distressed when he sat up and looked at me. He asked, “Can I tell you something Jeff?” I nodded in the affirmative and then he shocked me yet again by saying, “I want you in the worst way, I thought about you for months and I felt horrible because I didn’t think you were gay. Now you tell me that you are and I’m ecstatic, but I know that you aren’t into casual sex. I’ve been thinking about it all day and if it’s cool with you, I’d like to date you. You are a very nice guy, and after hearing what happened with your ex, I’d never want to hurt you like that so I’m willing to take this as slowly as you’d like.” If I was speechless at the beginning of his speech, I was completely mute by the end of it.
I don’t know what he thought by my silence but he continued anyway. “I know I’m your boss, but we can work something out or if it’s not a problem with you then it can stay the same…” He looked like he wanted to continue but I interrupted him and said, “You’re gay?” In hindsight, I know it was a stupid question but the thought was just registering in my fog-induced brain. I shook my head and apologized.
He actually laughed and explained that being the CEO of a fledgling company trying to make it’s mark on the business community didn’t leave much time for a social life, so he hadn’t been serious with anyone, thus not giving air to his personal life. I nodded in understanding because I knew he hadn’t known I was gay and I was not even close to being in the closet, I’m just discreet.