With teary eyes, Ethan licked, kissed, sucked, and swirled his tongue on his brother’s cock before lowering his head to shove more into his mouth.
“Still wanna go fishing?” Cole whispered into his little brother’s ear.
Both siblings lay sprawled on the floor, completely naked. Cole’s thick arms surrounded Ethan’s body in a warm embrace. The younger didn’t want to open his eyes or say a thing, afraid that if he did, the spell would break and reality would collapse around him.
Ethan, the straight son, the one with a six-month girlfriend, the guy who’d never in his entire life doubted his sexuality, had just had sex with his older brother. Not just sex either, more like a passionate, steamy, brutal fucking in which he had been the willing and grateful recipient of his brother’s seed. The thought of it sent his heartbeat into a frenzy.
“What’s wrong?” Cole asked again. This time he pressed his lips to the back of Ethan’s neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses down to his brother’s collarbone.
Biting his tongue to prevent any unwanted sounds from escaping him, Ethan patiently waited for the other to be done. Goosebumps raised all over his body, and he could feel his dick stirring awake again.
“It’s too late to go fishing,” he replied to the first question.
“You could fish with my rod right here though,” Cole suggested with a smirk, his lips still pressing against his brother’s soft skin. “See what you get.”
“Shut up,” Ethan chuckled, playfully pushing him back with his elbow.
They fell into another comfortable silence. The sound of the AC provided cover against any unwanted noise that could come from the outside. Leaning against Cole’s massive chest, Ethan felt his consciousness starting to drift away. Sleep was most welcome, as he was still very much scared of where his mind would wander if he left it alone too long.
“Is that yours?” Cole asked.
“My what?” Ethan replied, fighting a yawn.
“Your phone. You don’t hear it?”
“What are you talking about?”
Cole moved, stretching towards the corner of the room where Ethan’s phone had landed when he smacked it off his hands earlier. A big gash that wasn’t there before now streaked across the screen.
“I’ll make it up to you,” he said guiltily, passing the phone to his younger sibling.
“What do you–” Ethan mumbled, finally opening his eyes.
A pang of anger drew a frown on his face, but he knew Cole would keep his word, so he decided to drop the subject and pick up the call instead.
“Stay quiet,” he threatened before pressing the green button. “Hey, Sean!”
“E! Where are you?” Sean’s voice sounded urgent.
“I’m, uh– I’m at Kara’s,” Ethan said.
Immediately realizing his mistake, he tried to get up, away from his brother, but it was too late. Cole’s jealous instincts kicked in full gear. His hand closed around his twink brother’s arm and pulled back, knowing Ethan wasn’t nearly strong enough to resist.
Mentioning his girlfriend in front of his possessive brother was a mistake he thought he would regret, but as Cole forced him to sit back down and feel his big brother’s fat cock growing harder against his lower back, Ethan reconsidered.
“I thought you were going fishing with your brother today?” Sean said, his voice still sounding apprehensive.
“Wha– Oh yeah! I forgot about that,” Ethan struggled to push the words out of his mouth. “I’m, uh– I changed our plans. We’re going next weekend.”
“What’s going on, Sean?” Ethan asked, suddenly concerned about his friend despite having a pair of rough hands sliding on his thighs and making his mouth water and his dick drool.
“Fuck,” Sean cursed on the other side of the line. “Ethan, listen. I need to talk to you. It’s pretty urgent. Can we meet at Lorenzo’s?”
“Right now?” his voice cracked as a loud moan attempted to escape. Ethan covered his mouth with his free hand and prayed his best friend hadn’t noticed.
With his back against his brother, his legs spread open, and Cole’s experienced hands tending to his hard dick, he felt close to fainting. He wanted to tell Sean to fuck right off; he wanted everyone to leave him the fuck alone so he could enjoy the delicious mountain of muscles that was his older brother and forget about the rest of the world.
“How about tonight? After nine,” Sean said.
Ethan took a big breath and spilled all the words in one go before it was too late:
“Sean, can’t you just tell me what’s wrong?”
He could hear his friend struggling on the other side. Sean was clearly wrestling with something critical. A few more seconds went by, and all Ethan could make out was the sound of keys jingling, which meant that Sean was twisting them around in his hand the way he did whenever something was bothering him.
While waiting for his best friend’s response, Ethan pressed his back against his brother’s firm body, feeling Cole’s cock eagerly throbbing against his little brother’s slim body. Slow seconds crawled by. The bigger sibling tightened his grip, increased his speed, and bit down Ethan’s neck again. So many sensations at once took over his body, building up every time Cole lowered his hand. It all culminated in a satisfying explosion of pleasure that made his entire body convulse.
“I know you’re gay, man.”
The irony that, at that precise second, Ethan was shooting thick ropes of cum into a bulky man’s hands almost got lost amidst the waves of ecstasy washing over him.
Struggling to gain control of his breathing, he hurried to ask:
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Ethan just–” more jingling of car keys. “Get to Lorenzo’s tonight at nine. Please?”
Coming down from his second orgasm at the hands of his brother that day, Ethan felt a wave of exhaustion. There were just so many things he needed to organize in his head and process. So, pushing down the uneasy feeling caused by Sean’s words, he forced himself to reply:
“Sorry, I’m gonna spend the day with Kara. Can we meet tomorrow for lunch?”
“Sure, tomorrow then.”
The call dropped immediately after that.
“I can make you cum better than any girlfriend,” Cole’s gruff voice sounded next to Ethan’s ear, followed by sucking sounds, as the older sibling cleaned the mess from his own hand.
“He said he knows I’m gay,” the younger one explained. His chest was still heaving, but a worried expression marred his face now that he’d finished riding his incestuous orgasm.
“How did he figure it out?” Cole asked.
“Figure what out?” Ethan turned around sharply, staring at his brother.
“Are we having the same conversation?” Cole said with a mix of amusement and confusion.
“I’m not fucking gay!”
Fueled by sudden anger, Ethan stood up faster than his brother could react. He was having trouble managing the confusion stemming from his friend’s words and the fury directed at his elder sibling for making his life far more complicated than it had been up until yesterday.
“I’m not gay, Cole!” he felt like he’d repeated those words today more than any other day in his life.
“Ethan,” his brother deadpanned. “You came in my hand while naked on the floor, right after I rearranged your intestines. I think it’s a bit late for that.”
“That’s because you– you–“
“I what?” the smirk on Cole’s face only irritated Ethan further.
“I don’t fucking know! I’m going to take a shower, and then I have to go see Sean so I can try to understand where the fuck all this gay stuff is suddenly coming from,” Ethan said, trying to keep his voice down but failing with every new sentence. “Please, get out of my room. We’ll talk later.”
Cole’s expression hardened, but he didn’t say a word. Getting up, he dressed while Ethan covered himself in a towel, grabbed whatever clothes he could find, and stormed out to the showers.
The cold water and the absence of Cole’s overwhelming presence managed to cool him down somewhat. But an avalanche of emotions assaulted him all at once, erupting in his chest.
Ethan felt guilty for essentially cheating on his girlfriend, confused at the fact that he had enjoyed sex with another man, desperate to figure out why he felt so irresistibly attracted to his own brother, worried about what might’ve triggered Sean to say what he’d said.
Before he realized it, tears were running down his face, warmer and saltier than the water pouring down on him. It felt good to let all of it out. No one else was there. No one could hear him sob his heart out. Saturday mornings were thankfully quiet, especially when it was a hundred degrees outside. Ethan knew he didn’t have to worry about being found like this, so he let go.
About twenty minutes later, he parked in front of his girlfriend’s house.
He took a deep breath, waiting for his heartbeat to come down. Despite feeling better after the cathartic shower, Ethan felt a knot tightly form at the pit of his stomach. He’d thought about it the entire way there, but couldn’t find any other solutions. Breaking up with Kara was the right thing to do. At least until Ethan could figure out what he had going on with his brother. He’d try to be gentle and keep hope that she would take him back someday if he could fix whatever was wrong with him.
Looking at himself in the rearview mirror, he was relieved to find no traces of his earlier breakdown in his blue eyes. The last thing he wanted was to give Kara a reason to suspect him. After fiddling with his messy dark hair for a few more minutes, achieving nothing, there was only one thing left to do.
It was over mercifully quickly. Kara knew right away after taking one look at her boyfriend’s face. She didn’t question Ethan or ask why the sudden change of heart after they spent last night and that morning tangled with each other. They parted ways on good terms, promising to stay in contact with each other; to Ethan’s relief.
However, when he returned to the car, he closed his eyes with frustration and anger. Not because of what just happened but because he couldn’t stop thinking about Cole. Ethan wanted his big brother there to wrap his massive arms around him and make him feel better. Worse yet, he wanted Cole to take control of him, to be in charge, tell him what to do, put Ethan down on his knees, and make him forget about his problems by stuffing his mouth full.
He had been harsh, though, and perhaps Cole understood he’d need some space, so after checking his phone, Ethan didn’t find a single notification from his brother.
Ethan spent the rest of the day curled up in bed, listening to his favorite music and trying to tune out from his own mind. Weird dreams were conjured from familiar memories with his brother as he drifted in and out of sleep. He wanted to feel guilty for touching himself while thinking of Cole before falling asleep for good, but he couldn’t bring himself to it.
The merciless noon sun illuminated Ethan’s reflection against the shiny glass doors, showing his twinkish body covered in a white shirt, an open flannel, and swimming shorts. Pearls of sweat were forming on his forehead. Summer was hitting with full force.
Thankfully, a cold breeze hit him as he opened the door, accompanied by the familiar smell of Lorenzo’s masterful burgers. Despite being relatively small, the diner was one of the most popular hang-out places amongst broke college students looking for a delicious meal at an affordable price.
Crowded at full capacity, it took Ethan a few seconds to scan the place in search of his friend. Not that it was hard to spot a black man with a build as big as Cole himself. Indeed, Sean eventually caught Ethan’s attention by raising a hand from the very last stall.
Making his way there, Ethan reflected on his friend’s appearance. A shaved head on top of a square jaw with thick lips, a strong nose, and a permanently frowning expression were only the tip of the black iceberg. Sean was also wearing a loose tank top that did little to hide the hardened body under it, although it did make a good show of his massive arms.
He and Ethan had known each other since childhood. It wasn’t until they hit puberty together and his friend developed a fondness for the gym; that they became such an odd pair. A white twink and a massive black man. Some sort of inappropriate joke, or dirty story, could probably come out of that, nothing based on reality. Though Sean was gay and out, he’d never expressed any interest in Ethan. Nor had Ethan ever felt any inclination towards his best friend, even as he pondered on it now that he’d had his first fully homo-erotic experience.
“Hey,” he went for a short greeting and a fist bump before taking a seat.
Reading through Sean’s petrified frown was a carefully honed skill that Ethan had mastered almost to perfection. In this case, he could tell his friend was unsettled. Although they were about to have a very awkward conversation, so perhaps this one guess didn’t require a carefully honed skill.
“Listen, E,” Sean cleared his throat, cutting straight to the chase. Ethan’s friend was nothing if not a direct person. “I want you to know there’s no judgment from me, alright?”
“If you mean about the whole gay thing, it’d be pretty hypocritical for you to judge, don’t you think?” Ethan retorted.
“I just really want to know why you never told me you’re into guys?” his best friend said, leaning forward, the jingling of his keys increasing the already frantic rhythm.
“I’m not,” Ethan stated, trying to sound firm, but caving slightly under his massive friend’s gaze.
“Don’t lie to me, E,” Sean sounded annoyed. “I saw you with my own eyes getting all creamy with your brother.”
Well, that was one sure way of flipping the tables. There it was. A revelation worthy of crowning a mind-fucking weekend of new experiences and knowledge Ethan wished he’d never obtained. Everything that could go wrong was doing exactly that, pushing him increasingly closer to the edge, threatening to make him fall into despair.
It was all Cole’s fault. If he hadn’t made that first move, Ethan wouldn’t have fallen for his older brother’s advances and let him fuck his soul out against an open window. What a stupid mistake, too. How could something so easily fixed escape the two siblings’ grasp? Had Ethan really been that taken away by his brother’s muscle-clad body touching him, kissing his skin, drilling deep inside to leave his warm seed that he’d forgotten where they were?
“I don’t give a fuck about Cole, Ethan,” Sean’s deep voice brought him back to an unsettling reality. “I promise I don’t care, and I don’t judge. It’s not like you can get pregnant or something. I’m just wondering why you never felt like you could tell me you were into guys?”
The hurt behind his childhood friend’s words sounded genuine. It gave Ethan pause, but his brain felt sluggish like it was trying to swim through a sea of peanut butter to try and deliver the next thought. There were simply too many things to think about and too many explanations to make up.
“I’m not gay,” he whispered the same phrase he had fought his brother over that morning.
“Alright,” the sound of keys suddenly stopped. Sean started to pick up his things. “If you’re gonna take me for a fool, I’m gonna leave, and you can call me when you’re ready to talk.”
“Wait,” Ethan called out to his friend before he got up.
“E, I saw you through the window, alright? There’s nothing to hide because I already saw it, and I don’t care. And you should know I care even less about you being gay, bi, or whatever you are. I came out to you first, remember? I just wish you would’ve told me.”
Like the hands of a clock, the return of the steady rhythm of his friend’s nervous key tick threw Ethan back to when they were both thirteen, and Sean had one day dropped the fact that he liked men as if he was saying he enjoyed the rainy weather. That confession lay at the core of their friendship. It was a milestone from all the years they’d known each other. Nothing had changed between them after that day. Now it was Ethan’s turn.
“I don’t know what happened exactly, alright?” he started, feeling reassured when his friend sat down again and stared at him with an unwavering gaze. “I spent the night with Kara, we had sex, and it was good. Then I came to my dorm and got ambushed by Cole saying all this stuff about how he’d always wanted me and whatever–“
“Ethan,” suddenly, the keys stopped, and Sean’s tone adopted a crushing severity. “Did he force you?”
“Why did you hesitate? Am I going to kill your brother today?”
“No, just listen, okay? I need you to listen, Sean,” Ethan begged. “I was really confused at first. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. He kept saying all these, like, romantic things or whatever; and then we– you know, kissed, and everything else.”
“Okay? But what does this have to do with you being gay?”
“I’m not fucking gay, Sean!” Ethan shouted a bit too loud, making a few heads turn, and his face burned with embarrassment.
“So you just wanted to try?” the keys slowed down. An indicator that Sean was perhaps being cautious.
“No, it’s not that either,” Ethan confessed.
Putting all the complicated, confusing events of the day before into words was a monumental challenge. Beating around the bush wasn’t going to get Ethan anywhere, and if there was anyone on the planet worthy of his trust, it was Sean, so the only way he could begin to figure it all out was if he spilled his guts and then asked for his friend’s help to try and put the puzzle together.
“I think I have feelings for him.”
The words came out in a whisper. Unfortunately, recovering a whisper is impossible once somebody else has caught them. Looking down at the table, Ethan awaited his friends’ reaction.
“You have feelings for Cole?” Sean whispered back.
“Are you sure?”
He nodded again.
“What about Kara?”
“I broke up with her this morning.”
A long pause elongated between the two friends. Seconds were marked by jingles; until it felt like an hour had passed. Ethan wanted to look up, but he was too scared to read Sean’s feelings in his unexpressive face in case one of them was disapproval.
“Hey, guys! Sorry I didn’t get to you earlier. We’re full. Do you know what you’re gonna order today?”
Apparently immune or ignorant to the tension between the two, a twinkish blonde waiter stood next to their table with a pen, paper, and a beaming white smile.
“We’re gonna need another minute,” Sean replied.
His deep voice startled Ethan for some reason. Almost as if he hadn’t expected to hear back from his friend anymore. Perhaps he was being a bit melodramatic.
The twink walked away, though not without throwing a good, lingering look at Sean first.
“Damn,” the other whispered. “I know what I want for dinner, at least.”
Ethan chuckled but didn’t say anything else.
“Listen, E,” his friend finally addressed him. “We’re friends. I’ll support you no matter what. Have you talked to Cole about this?”
“No, not yet,” Ethan admitted with a sigh of relief.
It was like a massive weight left his chest. The only thing that still remained was a pang of lingering guilt for having doubted Sean’s loyalty. Any other person could’ve walked out. Most people would have probably left the second they walked across that window and saw what they saw. That reminded Ethan:
“What were you doing there, by the way?”
“You know that cute Diego boy a couple rooms down from yours? Been banging him from time to time, but he wants me to come and go through the window ’cause he’s still closeted.”
“Guess I wasn’t the only one keeping secrets, then,” Ethan smiled.
“I was keeping it for his sake. I’m only telling you so that we’re even now that I found out yours by accident,” Sean replied while a corner of his mouth faintly twisted upwards in what passed as a smile for him.